4 Steps To Help You Decide If You Should Quit

4 Steps To Help You Decide If You Should Quit

Yashica Lind

Yashica Lind  is a Personal Mastery Life Coach who helps women take control of their lives . View profile 

I was first confronted with this question after my husband let me know, via an email… can you believe it!… that he wanted a divorce.

It started out as a normal night like any other. I believe I had my head buried in a book and he stated that he was going to run to the store for a snack. On his way out, he told me to check my email, which at the time we shared. I did and was immediately shocked to see an email from him to me. Opening up that email changed my life and forced me to confront the fact that something that I had invested over 15 years of my energy into was falling apart.

There are many stages that we go through when something like that happens, but at the end of the day, the one that mattered most was asking myself if I should give up or fight for a marriage, that in my eyes, was not bad at all. This question was harder to answer back then, but through growth and wisdom and working with many different clients along the way, I noticed a pattern to help you answer this question for yourself.  I have four questions that you should consider if you have to decide if you should give up on something vs keep pushing on. With these four questions you will be better equipped to know what you should do.

 

1.  Are you forcing it?

Force occurs as a result of, in simplistic terms, trying to push something along or pull something along. There is a tremendous amount of energy that is needed to force something to happen, especially if trying to get something to budge that is not moving. What’s funny is that in science, every time you apply force towards a desired outcome, there is an equal and opposite reaction force. Couple this with the fact that we often don’t have direct control over all of the details of how our desired outcomes materialize once we do everything in our own power to make things happen. These two things may not seem like a big deal, but they are!

There is nothing like coming up with a plan and doing all of the things that you can do and control within yourself to make that happen, however, once you’ve done that and you don’t get the results you want, panic sets in. And then what…you start trying to force the people and circumstances around you to bend to your desired outcome and it usually doesn’t work. The universe likes balance so when you try to force these areas in life, you are often met with counter-force or resistance equal to the force you are using to try to get what you want which equals a big fat zero progress. So what can you do?

Recognize that you will have less success using force, especially on things that are beyond your control and learn how to generate power. Power actually produces work. Power comes from you working on yourself and doing the things within your control to make things happen. This most often means working on your mindset and creating a strategy mostly full of the things that you can control. If you are working on these things 100% that is truly all you can do. And just to leave you with another bit of science…. Power is increased by doing things faster, not necessarily harder, so if you want to make change happen in your life. Make the changes that you can control as fast as you can.

2.  Are your heart and your mind aligned?

You mustn’t overlook this step. From the time you came out of the womb, you have been bombarded with messages that create beliefs which in turn create attitudes and behaviors. These are usually linked to the mind and may not always be aligned with how we feel in our heart. You may do what your parents want you to do, your kids, or society. You may live so much for other people and the rules of others that you lose sight of who you are. The problem with this is you may be working towards something that is not even something that you desire deep down inside. The mind is powerful and since what you think ultimately becomes what you manifest, your heart ends up being  overridden and you can end up chasing things that are ultimately not in line with your purpose. 

To counter this, you must learn to check in with your heart. Your feelings are going to play a part in your future success. Your heart (feelings) should be first in command and whenever you are going after a goal, if it doesn’t feel right in your heart, you have some soul searching to do. The heart doesn’t lie but the mind can sneakily have you do things that go against your heart and you may not even notice it happening. Your mind is 2nd in command.

True power comes from doing things in life that are aligned with your heart and your head. Or to say it another way, your feelings and your thoughts. Pursuing goals when you feel good about them makes it easier to use your mind as a TOOL and not the Commander-in-Chief and when this happens, you are unstoppable. You not only have the two building blocks that you need to move mountains, but you are also more likely to spend your time and energy on things that matter most to you which leads to more happiness, less stress, and more fulfillment.

3.  Are you doing the work or just wishful thinking?

This ties into the Power vs Force conversation. If you are not sure if you should give up on something, sometimes you may need to consider if you are actually doing the work. If you want to lose weight, are you consistently doing everything in your POWER to make it happen? Is it something you really want or something you think you should want? And here is an important part, do you have a clear strategy or plan or are you picking vague goals and winging it?

Most big dreams in life that you want to accomplish are going to require more effort on your part than you may initially think. This is very important to recognize because if you overestimate what is required of you to accomplish a goal you will usually be hit with a wake up call and it’s usually in the form of your progress not matching up to your expectations. This is why the heart and mind alignment is important. You can feel in your heart that you want something but if evidence is showing you otherwise, then you may be a bit delusional and may need to throw in the towel or at least reevaluate your actions and priorities. 

It is totally OK to be optimistic, however it is not ok to adopt wishful thinking and not check in with your logical mind to see if the trajectory you are on makes sense… especially if it is something that you don’t have direct control over or you are not taking consistent, specific, strategic action to materialize.

 

4.  Can you keep it up- the world works with a delay?

In science, it’s well known that when you look in the mirror, there is a fraction of time that passes by before you see the reflection in the mirror. Because it’s based on light rays, it is imperceptible. If you don’t know, reality is also a mirror that also has a set of delays. The difference with reality though, is that it operates on your thoughts and beliefs and has to meld with the thoughts and beliefs of others. Not only that, in reality you are not trying to move light, you are trying to move matter. Matter is dense.

Since you are continuously shaping the world around you with your conscious and unconscious thoughts, your level of success is going to depend on your thoughts. Things may not happen on the timeline that you expect. All of the things in this article must be done with diligence to accomplish a goal and even then, it still may not happen on your timeline. You are promised that you will succeed, the thing is, you may not know when or how. So then you must ask yourself, can you keep going? Or are you willing to keep going?

Compare this to when you go hard in the first month to try to lose weight, you expend an incredible amount of energy for what you may feel are minimal results. Now that you know about the delay, how badly do you want it? Your cells inside are revving up, your metabolism is shifting, you are processing nutrients differently.  All of the things that you won’t automatically see but that mean that you are headed in the right direction, but you give up because you don’t see what you want–you don’t see the scale move.

If you want to know if you should keep going or give up, the last bit of advice I will leave you with is to ask yourself if your goal aligns with the first 3 tips, and if it does, the only thing you need to do then is check in with yourself to see if you would be willing to go all in even if your outcome may not look the way you want or it may not happen when you want it to and if you find that you can’t detach from those aspects of your outcome, you may need to reevaluate or quit, unfortunately. 

 

So should you give up or keep going?

Making the decision to give up or keep going is not easy, and in the case of my husband asking for a divorce, I didn’t have control over him and forcing him to be with me would be counterproductive.  In my heart I felt I should let him go even though my head wanted to fight, logically I didn’t have evidence that he wanted to save the marriage, and I would not be ok fighting for the marriage and spending years of my life living in misery. Because of those four factors that I shared in this article, I gave up.

I thought it would be the most painful thing that I ever had to do because it wasn’t an easy decision but in the surrender, I found peace. That surrender led me to new places and new heights and allowed me to recalibrate to a life of happiness, fulfillment, and purpose. Deciding to give up or if you should keep going may not be easy for you either, but once you are clear about which fork in the road you will choose, you will open up space in your life for a more joy filled life full of greater opportunities for growth and expansion.

  

Short Article Review

  • Sometimes you can want something badly with all of your heart and even in the face of blocks and frustrations, you may be confused about whether you should give up or keep going and while there’s no right or wrong answer, this article will help you make that decision
  • When you force an issue, the laws of science dictate that you be met with counterforce so it is vital that before you give up, you tap into your power in order to accomplish the results you desire. Tapping into your power will help you move past the things getting in your way and help you make progress faster and more effectively
  • When you feel like you can’t decide whether you should throw in the towel, check in with your heart. Your heart will never lie if you learn to check in with yourself vs let your mind run the show. Your heart is connected to your intuition and ALWAYS has your mission and purpose in mind and will help you make the right choice.
  • Still feeling confused? Do an honest gut check. Are you actually doing everything that you can possibly do to achieve your outcome or are you wishful thinking? Dreams and goals require effort of some sort and making sure your attitude, actions, and behaviors align with your desire is key
  • Understand that your efforts don’t produce results immediately. The time to get results varies. Think about it, weight loss, a college degree, mindset changes… they all require a series of consistent efforts to occur before you notice changes so if you know you are tapping into your power, your heart is aligned with your desire, and you are doing the work… have faith. You will be successful even if it’s not on your expected timeline.

The content in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as legal, tax, investment, financial or other advice.  Always seek the advice of a licensed professional regarding any questions you may have. 

The Post 4 Steps To Help You Decide If You Should Quit appeared first on Womanly Inspiration. 

Cancel Your Self-Pity Party: Quarantine Party Ideas!

Cancel Your Self-Pity Party: Quarantine Party Ideas!

Beaudy Marea Gogue Camacho

Beaudy Marea Gogue Camacho is the founder of Fundforte, an events agency providing custom creative event solutions. View profile 

Events for the year 2020 were cut short, postponed, and even canceled completely. World event organizers spent millions on planning, advertising, preparing, and designing to create experiences that their shareholders expected and envisioned.

I remember the sadness I felt, as I pulled each little sticky note out of my planner. With them, I made a rainbow of sorts, knowing each color meant that it was a certain type of event that we would no longer help with. But I was thankful though because everyone I knew was safe, healthy, and home.

The pandemic reached the rest of the world around the end of spring, which for the global event industry, meant the busiest time of the year. The effects of cancelations sent shockwaves down to other industries such as food and beverage, travel, and tourism and flatlined the economic heartbeat of communities as lockdowns were being implemented all over the world.

Party Sense

Typical Spring sounds like buzzing, rain fall and baby bird chirps are usually accompanied with cheers of celebration, excitement, and laughter. 

But this year, some classmates never said their “Goodbyes”, there were lesser doorbell rings, fewer party horns, ceased candle-blowing after birthday songs, dimmed airport announcements and faint wedding bells.

Exchanges of warm embraces, smiles, flirting, and hosts cheering “Welcome! So glad you can make it,” were little to nonexistent. I miss hearing my clients say, “thank you for coming,” to their guests as I assist with cleaning up after the event that I helped them with.

Now that has been replaced with comments like, “Here is an update from your local public health authority,” “You’re on mute,” and my personal favorite, “Not too sure what we’re going to do.” Because how can we really be sure celebrations will be fun or worth the energy during quarantine, lock-down or social distancing orders?

Creativity Through Crisis

Like the Coronavirus disease, creativity is contagious. It is contracted, it spreads, and it goes viral. The ideas being shared of safe celebrations all over the world have inspired everyone from leaders to newbies in the event industry to continue to be passionate about their professions, as well as families and friends just trying to put together special events for the people they love.

Innovative implementations like drive-through graduations, corporate parties and adult entertainment, to virtual birthdays, weddings and baby showers on platforms with live video chat features like Zoom, Facebook, Google Meet and Whatsapp, have inspired so many to be innovative, remain positive and enjoy life.

Cyber Celebrations

Live video chats are one way to stay creative, safe, social distanced and less stressed. Video conferencing has been around for a while since brands like Skype, GoToMeeting, Google Hangouts, and Facetime have been serving consumers before the pandemic.

As your virtual event assistant, I will gift some tips to inspire you to plan through the pandemic. First, choose any of the platforms I mentioned, create an account, and get to know its basic features.

From there, you can set a date, time and space. Next, jot down information of your celebrant’s guests. You can coordinate this with your celebrant, or better yet, do so as a surprise by logging down the name, email, phone number and time zones of who they have been closest to or chatting with more often.

With a little research, you can get to a whole list of surprise party guests just by asking for the prior guests for recommendations or info! Try to stay within the limits of your preferred platform though, or you may have to invest in their upgrades to allow more attendees.

The Gift of Guests

Not being able to see our family, friends and coworkers has taken a social and emotional toll on many of us. Customization and attention to a celebrant’s favorite people, things and details are some of the most special elements of surprise.

Now that you have these elements gathered, create a digital invitation either on your favorite photo editor on your phone, make one on the online editor Canva, or order one on Etsy.

On the invitation you’ll need to have the design include the day of the week, the date, time, your time-zone and the period of time allotted as well as any special notes or requests. Add the event link on to the invitation and any passwords or event codes. If you might not have the resources for an invitation, the link and passcode will be just fine and guests can add the event to their calendars by converting to their time zones as well.

Going the Distance

In regard to special notes, asking the guests to wear the celebrant’s favorite colors, prints, or characters would be another way to show your celebrant that you have all gone the extra mile.

Adding a time stamped agenda or party program of things that will take place during the virtual party will build up the excitement as well. If you have the budget for it, you can go further and order your guests food, treats and giveaways from relevant product and service providers in their areas. This will show your appreciation and will make them feel extra special also.

All the tips can be applied to social distanced parties as well. You can host a themed drive-through where guests can come pick up meals, listen to music from their cars, and enjoy company while still staying apart. You can arrange a delivery service to your guest’s homes, such as a party box full of treats that says “Do Not Open Until Party Time!”

All this is possible through creativity, ideas, and innovation. We are humans of creation, celebration, and contribution, and with these tips and the inspiration you’ve gathered by reading this, I hope you’re empowered to plan through the pandemic and the upcoming holidays with these quarantine party ideas!

Congratulations on canceling your self-pity party!

Ready to start?    

You’ve got this!

Do You Wonder What Your Big Dreams Mean?

Do You Wonder What Your Big Dreams Mean?

Pamela Alexander, PhD

Pamela S. Alexander, PhD. is a passionate poet, artist, dreamworker, and personal/spiritual growth advocate. View profile

Did you ever wake up from a nightmare, sigh with relief, and think, “Thank heavens, it was only a dream?” Or, have a chaotic, confusing, and illogical dream that you dismissed with, “Oh well, it’s just a dream and they don’t mean anything anyway?” Those ones can dissolve like distant memories that you eventually forget. But then, there is another category of dream that’s entirely different, which is the big dream. It’s the one that you remember for years and know there is a message in it. You continue to talk about it and to wonder what it means.

When people find out that I work with dreams, it’s the one they usually tell me. 

 

The soul’s conditioning 

Those big dreams can follow us through life like a faithful puppy dog. When we wake up from one, we can’t shake the desire to know, “What does it mean?” The beauty is that, since dreams are normally symbolic, their meaning evolves over time. As we grow, our relationship with the symbols change, and we can deepen our understanding of the dream’s messages. Since we are conditioned to see things literally, we can lock into the idea that we know what the dream means, dismiss it, and not open ourselves to greater understanding. 

The conditioning process begins as soon as the soul is born. You are told who you are, what to believe, what is true, and what has value and meaning. It’s almost entirely based on a set of assumptions that for many of us go largely unquestioned. Why? Because we don’t encounter much that conflicts with what we have been told. If there is some disagreement, then many times we just dismiss it. 

In a culture where the preference is on the external, logical, rational, patriarchal orientation, there isn’t much attention given to the inner world of the soul. Much of how we perceive life is based on the views we have inherited. The big dream comes to shift our understanding of ourselves and our world. 

 

A big dream

The first “big dream” that I remember occurred when I was in my mid-twenties and working as an interior designer for a major corporation. I was doing well with frequent raises, promotions, and the “special” projects often landed in my inbox. Despite my success, I felt gnawing sense that something wasn’t quite right, which was reflected in a dream…

It’s daytime. I am one of many people lying on the front deck of a cabin in a meadow. We are prisoners of the men sitting inside. In order to be released, we must stand up and catch a transistor (small radio) that flies through the air, which must be accomplished without being seen. I watch and wait for a while, reach up and catch one. I am released… I walk away from the cabin toward a forest. A silver Volvo station wagon pulls up and a woman gets out of the car with a girl of about two. The woman walks over to me with the child in her arms. The girl reaches out and I take her. She clings to me like she’s afraid I will let her go. I tell her, “We can’t be together in this lifetime.” As I hand her back to the woman, she cries and won’t let go of me. The mother and I pry her fingers loose and they leave… I walk alone through the meadow and into the forest. 

Dreams are personal, for sure, but they can also reflect the collective. I know of several other women who have had dreams that are uncannily similar to this one. This pattern is also clearly depicted in our popular fairy tales.  

 

What does it mean?

The tears were falling as I woke up from my dream. I was in my mid-twenties and planned to have a child, not right then, but someday. The dream scenario suggested my life wasn’t going to go that way. My mother believed in reincarnation, so the idea of not having a baby was my literal interpretation of the dream. Many years later, when I began to work with dreams, I remembered this one and wondered what it meant.

A big dream can usually be broken into sections. With the opening scenario reflecting the current situation of the dreamer. I’m being held hostage by the masculine, which I interpreted as being confined by the patriarchal corporation. Without any knowledge of the symbolic message, I left that job shortly after the dream, but there was a greater implication to this than just walking away from my career. The way the world worked, the way I thought, and how I lived was entirely shaped by a patriarchal perspective on everything. What was accepted, what was rejected, what had value, what didn’t, what was seen, and what wasn’t was shaped by that viewpoint. 

It wasn’t just about the corporate job, but I was caught up in activity and constant doing, achieving, and being driven by egoic conditioning. My life was in service to masculine ideals and I was unconsciously making life decisions through that lens. 

I was supposed to jump up and grab the small radio floating in the air without being seen. Not being seen, or looking back, can symbolize turning toward the inner world. Receptivity is feminine, as are intuition, dreams, knowing, sensing, the soul, being, and stillness. The guidance was that I needed to go inside, to listen to my inner knowing, wisdom, and dreams, in order to free myself from the old inherited structures.

 

Unconscious contents

We can see these structures as stories containing ancestral patterns, beliefs that aren’t true, dogma, and cultural conditioning. The unconscious influences what we do, how we act, who we are, what we believe is possible, and what we can achieve. These big dreams tell us when our soul is off track and that we need to change course. A transition is coming. The dream is dramatic because it wants to get our attention. Once that is accomplished, then the real work begins with the unconscious.

If the beginning of the dream sets the stage, then the next part tells us what to do. In the above dream, it’s saying to turn inward for answers and solutions. The corporate life I was living was out of alignment with my soul’s deeper yearnings. Although, I wasn’t aware of it at the time, that was the gnawing feeling that I couldn’t shake. 

I never did become a mother, since there was another plan for my life. Years after the dream, I discovered my purpose, which is all about the emergence, or freeing, of the soul. I was to be a part of a collective shift to empower and elevate the qualities associated with the feminine. The dream came to wake me up. It was suggesting the need to go within, listen, and free myself. Although, the final part of the dream didn’t tell me where I was going, I know now that I couldn’t have possibly understood at the time of the dream. The dream was alerting me to make a big change.

 

Subsequent dreams?

My dreams continued, year after year, like yours do, to put us on the path of our purpose and to embody a fuller expression of our souls. That’s why it’s really important to record all of your dreams, but especially the significant ones, as soon as you have them. Since a big dream can take years to integrate the learning and messages it contains, you want to remember the details accurately. 

Subsequent dreams will assist you in the process of achieving the vision presented in the initial dream. Any blocks, fears, resistance, and patterns that don’t serve you, will be symbolically depicted. As you listen and record them, they will guide you every step of the way. Dreams will provide information about all aspects of your life for you to become healthier, empowered, and aligned with your soul. 

In the next article, we will look at what you can do when your dream triggers a strong emotional response and why that happens.  

 

  Short Article Review

  • The soul is conditioned from the time we are born. Big dreams come to awaken the soul and redirect us to a more authentic path of purpose and meaning.
  • Although we have been conditioned to think analytically, rationally, and logically, the dreams are usually symbolic in nature, which means they don’t have fixed meanings. Their wisdom evolves over time.
  • Dreams often have a structure with a beginning, middle, and end, like a story. The opening sets the stage and shows us what’s happening now. The middle can alert us to how to move forward, or what to do. The conclusion can suggest what we are going toward. 
  • We inherit patterns of belief that influence our decisions, choices, and understanding of how the world works. They must become conscious to transform them.
  • Unconscious contents that hamper our ability to embody our fullest potential are revealed through dreams so that we can work through them and embody more of the soul. 

The information in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about any medical condition.  

The Post Do You Wonder What Your Big Dreams Mean? appeared first on Womanly Inspiration.

8 Strategies To Cope With And Conquer Anxiety

8 Strategies To Cope With And Conquer Anxiety

Kylee Nelson

Kylee Nelson is a licensed marriage and family therapist and owner of Fulfilled Motherhood Counseling. View profile

Anxiety is that feeling you experience with a tightness in your chest, those worry thoughts spiraling through your brain and that jittery feeling going through your body. Often, it’s accompanied by a feeling that things aren’t going to work out and that something is going to be terribly wrong. Sometimes anxiety comes when there is a real threat – however, often it comes when we are experiencing immense amounts of stress and aren’t sure how to cope. Something as small as waking up late for your day or something as big as a global pandemic can trigger anxiety.

 

Lucky for us – there are many small, practical lifestyle changes and in the moment strategies we can use to overcome our anxiety.

 

4 Lifestyle Changes to Help with Anxiety

 

1.  Eating and Drinking – We need to make sure we are properly nourishing ourselves and providing ourselves with energy so our bodies can function well. This means eating every 3-4 hours and drinking half your body weight in ounces of water each day. If you aren’t currently doing this, I would suggest you start here and see how you feel.

2.  Sleep – When we are under stress, we require more sleep than usual. If you were previously well rested with 6-7 hours of sleep but now find yourself waking up tired and groggy, shift your schedule to allow for 8-9 hours of sleep. When we run on little sleep, our nervous systems suffer and this can cause an increase in anxiety.

3.  Movement – Getting daily movement in our lives is so important for optimal mental health. Every time you exercise, you release endorphins which are chemicals that tell your brain you are happy. Go for a walk. Do some yoga. Play with your children in the backyard. You don’t have to have a full workout plan to get in some daily movement.

4.  Quiet Time/Rest Time – We all require some quiet, restful times in our days and weeks to feel our best. Different people require more or less of this than others, so it’s important to find what works best for you. This could be a quiet walk alone, some time to read scripture and pray or some time for meditation. It could also be an afternoon a week where you have nothing on your schedule, and you can do whatever feels right in the moment. Just create some breathing room in your schedule for yourself.

 

4 Things To Try When Anxiety Strikes

 

1.  Box Breathing – Doing breathing exercises helps calm your nervous system and lower anxiety. Box breathing is a style of breathing and holding your breathe shown to help lower anxiety. You breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4 counts, breathe out for 4 counts and hold for 4 counts. Repeat 2-3 times as needed.

2.  5,4,3,2,1 technique. This is my favorite one when you are struggling in the moment with panic or starting to feel overwhelmed. Look around and say (out loud or in your head) 5 things you see, 4 things you feel, 3 things you hear, 2 things you smell and 1 thing you taste. Don’t get overwhelmed if you can only come up with 1 smell or 2 things you hear. The goal is to engage your senses and help bring your anxiety down.

3.  Worry Time. If you are in a particularly hard season of life or you find yourself a natural worrier, it can help to set aside specific time each day to think about these worries. The idea is that by setting aside this time, you will give your mind time to process and prevent these worries from taking over your day to day life. You set a timer for 10-20 minutes, get a journal or go for a walk and let yourself think through all the things you’re worried about. At the end of the time, close the journal or turn around and walk in a new direction and you’re done worrying for the day. If the thoughts come back remind yourself that you can think about them again tomorrow and move on to something new.

4.  Stop and Distract. Sometimes we worry about things we have no control over or things from the past. We worry about getting sick. We worry about what someone thinks about us. We worry about that thing we said last week and how it was taken at work. In these instances, it can be helpful to stop your thoughts and distract yourself with something else. You can picture a bright red stop sign in your mind, say STOP out loud or in your head and repeat a positive mantra to yourself or think of a funny story. This can be a helpful way to shift your mind, and in turn, shift your mood.

When figuring out ways to cope and conquer your anxiety, it’s important to remember 2 things. First, these things take time. Pick one or two strategies and try them for a week or two before you decide they don’t work for you. Second, not every strategy works for every person. If you’ve given it a try for a week or two and are finding it’s not helping, move on and try another strategy.

If you find yourself really struggling after trying to make some positive lifestyle changes and trying out some of the coping skills above, it could be time for you to reach out to a licensed therapist in your area who can help you create a specific plan to fit your lifestyle to work through and conquer your anxiety. There is no shame in seeking help. You are not alone. Over 280 million people worldwide struggle with anxiety. There is help and you can feel better.

 

Short Article Review

  • Over 280 Million people worldwide struggle with anxiety. Only 1/3 of those people get adequate professional help
  • Lifestyle changes like changing your sleep, eating and drinking habits, getting movement and creating quiet space in your week can improve your anxiety.
  • There are quick, easy strategies such as deep breathing, worry time and others that can help you calm down when you’re feeling panicky or overwhelmed.
  • If you try these lifestyle changes and coping strategies but still find yourself struggling, there is no shame in getting help.
  • A licensed counselor in your area can help you create a plan to fit your needs and your lifestyle so you can start feeling better. Anxiety is not your fault. There is help. You can feel better.

The information in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about any medical condition.  

The Post 8 Strategies To Cope With And Conquer Anxiety appeared first on Womanly Inspiration.

7 Ways To Be Happier Now

7 Ways To Be Happier Now

pamela sommers

Pamela Sommers is an international award-winning bestselling author. View profile

Many people believe that being happy is something to strive for in the future or that happened a long time ago and is now a distant memory. However, that doesn’t have to be the case. You can be happy right now, if you choose to. 

Here are 7 things you can do to help you feel happier now:

1.  Decide to be happy

It all starts with a decision. Yes, it can be as simple as that. Happiness is a state of mind. At first this may take practice, but once you have done it a couple of times, it gets easier. Try it for yourself and see. First thing in the morning decide to be happy, start the day on a positive note by setting the intention to have a good day and to be happy.

2.  Ask new questions

If you find your mood changing and feel like dark clouds are emerging, keep them at bay, instead of going with your mood and letting your emotion take control, try asking yourself, how can I feel better right now? Or what can I do to make myself feel brighter and happier right now? Asking these questions will prompt your mind into action as it gets to work by trying to answer these questions. It can be quite powerful and because you are looking for solutions to help make you feel good, this can be quite enlightening as you are coming from a fresh perspective and a new way of looking at things.

3.  Happiness recall

You may recall countless times in the past where you laughed so much or a particular time you felt happy. Just because you experienced these moments in the past, doesn’t mean you can’t experience them again. One technique that can help is called ‘anchoring’. Anchoring is a tool that is often used by Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) therapists, whereby you create a physical connection to an experience that can be used in the future to prompt you into feeling a certain way. For example, when you feel happy celebrating a special occasion and being amongst loved ones, try pressing your forefinger and thumb together and do this a few times and at different occasions. This will serve as a trigger and reminder of a happy moment. So that whenever you want to feel happy in the future, you need to press your forefinger and thumb together and you will instantly feel happy because you have associated this movement with feeling happy in the past.

It doesn’t always have to be your fingers you use, for instance, you could take two deep breaths while smiling the next time you feel happy and if you do this on multiple occasions, you will connect taking two deep breaths and smiling to feeling happy, and so the next time you want to shift your mood, you can smile and take a couple of deep breaths and this will automatically lift your mood and make you feel happy again.

 

4.  Give yourself an instant boost

There are also what I like to call instant boosts. Playing music is an instant boost because hearing your favorite song can lift your spirits and your mood in next to no time. Compile a list of songs that you enjoy and create a ‘happy’ playlist, that way, the next time you feel down you can turn this on and tune into your happy vibes again. Exercising is also an instant boost as raising your energy levels can quickly change the way you think and feel about things in a positive way. So the next time you want to de-stress and feel good, start moving, whether this means dancing around your room, going for a walk or having a good work out, it will do you the world of good.

5.  Collect happiness stories

Whenever you get a compliment, praise, great review or fantastic feedback, create a folder with all these in it and save it on your laptop or computer. This way, any time you need a quick pick-me-up you can read through them. Think of it as your virtual, go-to cheerleader, ready and waiting to support you and send you off on your happy path.  

6.  Find things to be grateful for

Look for things to be grateful for, it may sound simple but sometimes it’s easy to forget all the great things you have going for you. So, give it a go. Think of five things right now that you are truly grateful for. It doesn’t matter how big or small it is. Once you get into the habit of doing this, you’ll be able to do this quickly, and it will give you reasons to feel good and help you feel generally happier.

7.  Share your happiness

The great thing about feeling happy is that life gets even brighter when it’s shared. So share your happy vibes with others, celebrate your good news and positive stories because we all need more smiles and the more happiness we have to share, a brighter and happier place the world will be.

 

Short Article Review: 

You can feel happier now by:

  • Choosing and deciding to feel happier
  • Recalling a time when you felt happy
  • Reading through positive feedback
  • Finding things you are grateful for
  • Sharing your happiness with others

The information in this article is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis or treatment.  Always seek the advice of your healthcare provider regarding any questions you may have about any medical condition.  

  

The Post 7 Ways To Be Happier Now appeared first on Womanly Inspiration. 

This Is What Happened When I Put On a Little Makeup

This Is What Happened When I Put On a Little Makeup

Arlene Bartok

Arlene Bartok is a wife and mom of three kids with an entrepreneurial spirit.  View profile  

Over the last month, I’ve been doing a challenge of putting makeup on every day. It’s been years since I’ve worn any and I thought that this would be an easy way for me to start embracing my femininity.  I always saw femininity as a weakness growing up and I wanted to change that. This became an eye opening journey for me. 

 

Commitments are tough 

Commitment has always been a struggle for me. I have a long history of starting things and stopping them days later. I really doubted myself at the beginning.  I surprised myself with how much I was really committed to doing this though. I actually put makeup on every day. Even at night when I was only going to wear it for a couple hours. What’s fantastic is that this led to another commitment challenge of working out every day. Tomorrow will be 4 weeks straight of daily workouts. Woohoo! I’m beginning to trust myself now. 

 

So much more than a simple daily routine

Taking time out of each day to put on a little makeup showed me that I am worth the time and effort it takes to do something nice for myself. I am worth it. As mentioned above, this motivated me and got me to start exercising daily.  Aside from that, the commitment and motivation is reflecting more in my meals as well. I now take time to cook myself an actual meal more often instead of grabbing something convenient and easy. 

 

Fun can come unexpectedly when you put on a little makeup

Wearing makeup is a form of self-expression. Being brave enough to try different bold and bright colors and different ways of wearing it, helps me be more confident. I now feel freer to be more open with others. I enjoy meeting new people online and sharing my story with them. 

This is so much fun. I’m having a blast trying different techniques I watch on YouTube. I realize makeup is an art and I love art. By being open about makeup, I am now also engaging in more fun activities in my daily life too. I started an Instagram profile and enjoy posting pictures and engaging with people on there. I share my art and music and progress on the projects I’m working on. I’ve never been brave enough to share about myself like this before.

 

Little changes can lead to big results

Makeup has become a wonderful part of my daily routine. I’m amazed how committing to one thing and actually doing it, can benefit other areas of your life.  Little changes can lead to big results.  Additionally, I’m feeling more feminine and I’m loving it. I no longer feel that it is a weakness but a power I can tap into to fuel me and use to make my life better. I feel more confident, sexy, and capable of doing great things. I really love myself and am able to see the beauty in others. I encourage more women to find ways to embrace their feminine side. 

 

Short Article Review

  • This is my journey on how I started embracing my femininity.
  • What started as a little five minute routine grew into so much more.
  • By creating one habit, this encouraged me to start other habits
  • Fun can come unexpectedly
  • Little changes can lead to big results

The Post This Is What Happened When I Put On A Little Makeup appeared first on Womanly Inspiration.