Build Better Boundaries With Inner Child Work
Cybele Botran is a teacher, a SHE RECOVERS® and Holistic coach, and owner and founder of Wide Awake Recovery. View profile
Do you struggle with setting clear boundaries?
When you listen to your inner child, it will become easier to set boundaries.
Many women struggle with boundaries.
Do other people overwhelm you? You may be holding on to the misunderstanding that you have to do everything for everyone else.
Is it hard to say no? You may believe that saying no makes you unlikeable.
Are you always busy? Perhaps you believe you have to hustle to feel valuable.
Do other people not listen to you? This is an opportunity to listen to yourself.
Are you hypersensitive to criticism? Cultivating self-love for your inner child will help you increase your self-esteem.
There is nothing wrong with you.
By creating a relationship with your inner child, you will begin to let go of the idea that there is something wrong with you. Remembering, reconnecting, and reparenting your inner child will help you shed shame and guilt from past behaviors.
As a child, you may have believed that approval was a necessary way to feel safety, love, and belonging. As an adult, you can meet your own needs through inner child work. Once you no longer rely on others for your sense of self-worth, your ability to set clear boundaries will dramatically improve.
Inner child work builds self-esteem.
A core need for children is to be seen and heard. As a child, you probably did not have the maturity to process emotions on your own. As adults, we have the opportunity to listen to ourselves and lovingly take care of our own needs. The deep and authentic connection with your little girl will help you stand up for yourself.
Once you build a connection with your inner child, setting boundaries becomes second nature. Just like a mama bear protects her baby cub, you too will intuitively know how to protect your tender, sweet self.
Inner child work improves self-awareness.
Inner child work is about noticing. When you begin to listen inside, you will notice your inner-critic. When you become aware of your inner-critic, you have the choice to respond to yourself differently.
With intentional practice, you can gradually transform your inner-critic into a loving, supportive voice. By speaking to yourself with a loving voice, you self-soothe and calm your nervous system.
Your inner child needs you.
Accessing your inner child is a practice. You may begin by finding a sweet childhood photograph of yourself. Place it in a spot where you can see it each day, perhaps on your desk or dresser mirror. Another way to become more conscious of your inner child is to pause throughout the day and check-in with her to see how she feels. When emotions arise, pause, and ask her what she wants, needs, and feels. While pausing, you may want to gently place your hands on your cheeks, cupping your chin. This will give you a soothing feeling of being held and loved.
Finally, you may connect with your inner child during quiet meditation. By getting still and listening inside, we are better able to hear our inner child’s voice.
By looking at a childhood photograph of yourself, pausing to listen to your inner child, and practicing quiet meditation, you will gradually become aware of what your inner child is feeling and thinking. This will take time. Inner child work is a practice.
Boundaries start on the inside, not the outside.
You may have believed that boundary setting is about building walls to protect yourself. Or perhaps you thought boundary work is about changing others and making them do what you want.
Setting clear boundaries starts by going inside. By doing inner work, we get clear about what is important to us. We learn to listen to our own needs and become effective communicators. By checking in with our inner child, it becomes obvious when we need to set a boundary.
Setting boundaries becomes easy because we want to protect our inner child and treat her with love and kindness.
Boundaries protect our capacity to love ourselves and others.
When we become acutely aware of our own inner dialogue, thoughts, and story, we learn how to self-regulate and care for our needs. When we establish clear boundaries, we protect our capacity to love ourselves and others.
When we take care of our own needs for safety, love, and belonging, we no longer rely on others to meet our needs. Inner child work is a beautiful way for women to build better boundaries.
Short Article Review
When you listen to your inner child, it will become easier to set boundaries.
- Many women struggle with boundaries.
- There is nothing wrong with you.
- Inner child work builds self-esteem.
- Inner child work improves self-awareness.
- Your inner child needs you.
- Boundaries start on the inside, not the outside.
- Boundaries protect our capacity to love ourselves and others
The content in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended as legal, tax, investment, financial, medical or other advice. Always seek the advice of a licensed professional regarding any questions you may have.
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